My country, 'tis of thee.

"America makes me very angry at times. It's the closest to being right- but it could be out of sight."
-Stevie Wonder

"People have been going off and doing their thing since time began. But it's important that they remember themselves and who they are. They've got to stay in touch with the earth."
-Curtis Mayfield

"[F]or the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."
-If you don't know, shame on you.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

"No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law."

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

"No person shall be held to answer for any capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."
"In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district where in the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense."

"In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law."

"Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted."

"The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."

"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
-Once again, if you don't know, shame on you.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."
-Seriously, if you don't know...

Education Revisited

Nothing, and I mean nothing, kills one's belief in a program quite like watching a video wherein someone teaching others to teach better manages to be staggeringly dull.

I find it hard to stomach instruction when the lessons involved are almost unspeakably boring, and cannot fathom what I am supposed to derive from it.

The gist of the several hours worth of video clips I've slogged through this week?

"Know thy students, know thyself."

It's a pile of horseshit.

But heaven help me, it's the path to a real job.

A Religious Experience

So, having been raised agnostic, I've never really understood what people get out of faith.

I really don't.

I cannot conceive of a God who gives a shit what we do on an individual basis, any more than we care about what a given single ant is doing at a specific moment in time.

Or to put it another way, God may see the fall of every sparrow, but I don't think He/She/It/They cares very much.

But I do find myself profoundly awed and moved, from time to time, to feel something I feel must be akin to religious devotion.

Standing on top of a small mountain in Utah, looking down at a small herd of bison grazing on a bleak island in the Great Salt Lake as a powerful wind whips salt spray nearly a mile up the mountain to me.

Watching as a magnificent storm tears its way through the sky of southern Indiana, the lightning dancing from cloud to cloud.

Seeing a bird of prey strike at its victim, doing exactly what it was built to do.

The feeling of warm, familial camaraderie I experience with my friends as we sit around a roaring campfire under a beautiful full moon.

Standing uphill of Secret Creek near Talkeetna, and turning to find Mount Denali clearly outlined as if it's only three feet away.

Hearing the crash of waves on the seashore as I walk along a cliff in northern California after sunset.

The almost insane joy I feel as I fire a round and it slams into the target.

The sounds of gifted singers performing, say, the operas of Puccini.


Thing is... no church I've yet encountered would include any of these in its services.

And thus, I remain uncommitted.

But I do live in awe of the universe we inhabit, and some of the things we, as a species, do for no readily apparent reason.

The Death of Effort...

... came about as soon as the new computer had arrived.

Seriously.

This damn thing destroyed my entire day yesterday, and it wasn't even particularly hard to set up.

It's just... seductive.

"Hey, you know how slow and crunchy your old machine has gotten? Take a look at THIS."

And then my brain melts and it's four in the morning and I've done.... nothing of value.

Accursed machine.

How I love it.

Of Moose and Men

Dinner tonight consisted of steaks hewn from the carcass of an honest to God Alaska Moose.

How I've missed that flavor, the taste I've always considered something of a blend between beef and venison.

My only regret is that I wasn't the one who'd killed it.

No, this largess came from a relative of my dad's best friend. That worthy does not buy meat in grocery stores.

Not when a moose can tip the scales at well over one thousand pounds.

And thus, while I sat in an unfinished house in Ogden, God-Help-Us-Utah, I was able to feast upon a wild creature struck down for no more reason than because it is, in a word, delicious.

My enthusiasm to return to Alaska could not have gotten greater... but it IS more motivated now.

The High Country

So, I have finally found something I enjoy doing in Utah.

Today, instead of limping around the neighborhood as physical therapy, I drove up into the mountains and started walking up an old, unused road.

And somewhere up there in the big empty, I managed to have a good time.

I saw nothing particularly noteworthy- just the mountains around me.

I did nothing particularly cool- just limped along for about an hour and a half on my bad leg, letting the snow cushion the impact with the ground.

Nothing profound, nothing earth-shaking.

Just a stroll in the sun in the high country, in sun strong enough that I was in my t-shirt in short order.

And I would have kept walking forever, if I hadn't had the dogs with me.

After all, old crappy roads have to end up somewhere.

But for just about ninety minutes, all was right with my world.

And that's worth a bit of gratitude.

An Educational Experience

So, as part of my gradual plan to drag myself out of abject poverty, I have some hoops to jump through.

Among them, a series of online video clips by the people who determine the standards by which this profession is judged.

And dear lord, are they idiotic.

In one of these segments, clearly developed by someone who has never had a job outside of education, the virtues of a three-ring binder to encourage organization are touted.

I had several three-ring binders in my youth.

I broke or otherwise destroyed every last one of the useless things trying to make the crap fit inside.

Additionally, at 28 years of age, I have long moved past the need for a smiling, encouraging teacher.

In fact, those who know me can attest to the fact that I respond very badly to cheerful people.

And thus, I find these videos far harder than the classroom observations, online discussions, and travel involved in this job.

Because in many ways, they seem to encapsulate everything I hate about the profession, and everything I intend not to do.

Students are not morons. Even the ones who are morons do not take being talked down to terribly well.

Because if there's one thing we come out of school filled with hatred for, it's the patronizing fucks who treated us like children.

So, much as I did in some of my classes, I will nod, pretend I give a fuck, and jump through the hoops so I can leave.

My, but education is in good hands.