Tips and the Single Scumbag

So, to no one's surprise, I continue to be single and continue to hate it.

But there are definitely silver linings to this particular dark cloud.

For one, I'm going to be hell and gone in the middle of nowhere next year. I don't know of many relationships that can survive that much time apart, and I know even fewer women who'd follow a guy into a village of less than 150 people with limited access to the wider world and a position above the Arctic Circle. So there's that.

And then there's something that came to mind as I counted my tips from work tonight.
It's all mine.

All that walking around cash is mine. No dates, no birthdays, no anniversaries, all of the meager cash I bring in belongs solely to yours truly. Not the best motive, to be sure, but when you're used to being as damned broke as I am, it matters.

Now, would I chuck it all in if I found a nice young thing willing to give me a try?

Five years ago, the answer would have been a resounding yes.

But in that five years, I've seen what floundering around after you're dropped like a bad habit can do to you, and now, I have to look out for myself.

Love can make you do insane, crazy, stupid, wonderful things, and if I fall in love again, I'm sure it'll do precisely that.

But until then, I'm keeping my eyes on the prize- financial freedom.

Because without it, I'm always going to be some jerk mooching off of his parents and having pipe dreams about his contributions to his friends.

And I've had quite enough of that for one lifetime.