Life in the Theocracy

So, as a direct consequence of my injury, I've had a lot of time on my hands.

And what better way to pass the time than by doing a little social research experiment?

So I've been watching TV.

No, not the "good" stuff- nothing you pay for.

No, all I've been watching is the stuff an aerial can pick up.

And man, is it revealing.

We get some channels all the way from Mexico, but those aren't really at issue here. They still broadcast on analog down there.

No, I'm viewing the stuff that the good people of Utah make sure are on free TV.

Did you know that you can watch the Lawrence Welk show in Utah?
Or that the Andy Griffith Show still airs on regular hours anywhere on Earth?
Or that Perry Mason and Matlock alike continue to never lose a case in the Salt Lake State?

It's all so white-bread wholesome it's easy to lose sight of a few crucial facts- like the fact that the Mormon Church never acknowledged their role in the Mountain Meadows Massacre... or that Brigham Young was basically a North American Ayatollah.

And so on.

But no matter!

The good guys continue to triumph in every iteration of Utah TV. Evil never prevails, injustice is a myth, and we can all sleep safe at ight with the feathers of the Angel Moroni tucked beneath our heads.

This state is a fucking time capsule to the 1950s, desperately trying to distance itself from its bloody past.

If I didn't have to live here, it'd be funny.