Springtime in Alaska

So, as I pack and prepare to go waste an entire month in Anchorage, I figured I'd take one of my peaceful strolls through the woods. Just something I do.

And then I rediscovered the joys of spring in the Interior.

We have several wildfires going in the surrounding area, with the end result that no matter what the prevailing winds turn out to be, the entire area is blanketed in a haze of smoke from several hundred (possibly several thousand) acres of empty wilderness blazing away like a giant campfire.

As a result, anyone stepping outdoors is almost instantly kippered.

But the smoke is NOT enough to deal with the insect life- as your lungs fill with smoke, your skin is attacked on several fronts by great swarms of mosquitoes hellbent on draining your blood, and then the yellowjackets or bald wasps decide to pay a call to snack on the mosquitoes...

Yeah, it can be a bit rough.

But, on the other hand, as I walk through the smokey, bug-infested woods, I do so with a rifle on my shoulder, a pistol and a kukri at my belt, and the freedom to piss wherever I please more or less self-evident.

God I love my home.

As a certain Comrade of mine has recently engaged in this exercise, I'm bored enough to do the same.

Basically, this is the soundtrack of "Peyote Coyote- the Musical," with song titles dredged up from the flotsam and jetsam of my subconscious

They are color coded. RED items are Chorus/Ensemble numbers. Green items are duets, while bold green indicates a duet I'm not part of. Yellow items are chorus/dance numbers with no lyrics. Blue items in italic are, of course, my solos, and the bold version is a solo by someone else.
Act I
Overture (Cold and Dark)
Northern Nowhere.
Placid
The Northernmost Denny's
Outward Bound
So Long, and Don't Wait Up
Act II
What in Hell?
The Hoosier Tango
I've Grown to Hate It Here
You and I Make No Sense
Scumfucks/Brothers in Arms
Friday
We're All Too Drunk To Taste This Chicken
Where the Hell am I Going?

Act III
A Home I Barely Understand
Where Did You Come From?
A Last Year
An Unaccustomed Feeling
Fridays (Reprise)
In Love and Lust We Trust
Graduation
On the Drift
I'll Keep A Light On
A Visiting Pretext
Come Back
Ciao Italia
South

Act IV
On the Drift (reprise)
Welcome Back
The Hoosier Latitudes
A Company of Scumfucks
So Long (It's Been Real)
Fuck.
Brothers in Arms (reprise)
We'll Sort it Out
Damned if I Know
Iron and Fire
The Birth
I'll Be Damned

Act V
The Last Winter
Goodbye For Now
Fuck Utah.
Back in the North


And that's all... for now.

Rainbow in the Dark

So, in the wake of Ronnie James Dio's passing, I find myself moved to talk about my experiences with the man's music.

I discovered Dio late in life, first hearing his driving, awesome "I" while hanging out with a scumfuck buddy of mine in college- specifically, my junior year of college.

I did not immediately become a devotee.

Oh, I liked what I heard- I rapidly became one of those guys who remind people that Ozzie wasn't Sabbath's only vocalist- but I wouldn't say I became a fan.

No, it was during the year above the donut shop that I truly came to love the work of Dio.

Partly, it was exposure- my roomies all liked him to one degree or another, and so the music was on more.

Partly it was my own growing interest...

But mostly, I owe the boys of Tenacious D.

Dio's part in their film The Pick of Destiny is brief, beautiful, and it made a believer out of me.

When I found that he'd nailed his recording for the audio track in almost no time, I was further awed.

So I'm grateful for the tunes, the style, and most definitely the insanity of Ronnie James Dio.

As a dear comrade in arms said the day Dio died, "Now rocking Heaven and Hell."

Rock on, Ronnie.

Sporting Goods Stores

... and why they are the enemy.

So today, I went in search of more ammunition. I had to leave entirely too much of it in Utah.

At first, I was going to go by the local gun shop that has served as my family's armory since 1984. After all, they have a long history of not bullshitting us about what we need.

And then I find that they have gone out of business. Just like that.

Rest in Peace, Down Under Guns.

So, instead of a GUN store, you know, a place where everything I need is in plain sight and where the countermen are knowledgeable, I have to go to a sporting goods store.

And there in the back corner, buried behind a pile of kayaks, fishing poles, and pup tents, I find their firearms section.

It is a disorganized shambles. Worse, when I ask about a tactical sling for my SKS, I get a sea of blank looks from the clean-cut kids running the section.

Fuck.

But no matter! I need a new mess kit as well, surely...

But no.

"I dunno man, you might wanna check out an army surplus-"

"You drove that place out of business."

"Oh, right..."

Fuck this noise.

Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls...

... there are SO many things in this life that I hate.

I hate crowds. Any time I'm around more than, say, ten people, it drains me.
I hate parties. Most parties are simply crowds. I've enjoyed a whopping... I think three parties in the last decade.
I hate people. GOD do I hate people.
I hate being told what to do by people I'll never meet.
I hate waste- wasted time, wasted food, wasted money- it all sticks in my craw.
I hate suburbs. Oh GOD do I hate suburbs.
I hate litter. Why can't you morons pick up after yourselves?
I hate the fact that I'm apparently "really smart," but still stupid enough to let this sort of thing bother me.
I hate being lonely, and how I'm least lonely when I'm alone.
I hate the fact that I haven't been laid in four years, and that I haven't tried harder to do something about it.
I hate stupid twits who blather about "communication" when they're incapable of it.
I hate media outlets, and how we've come to rely on them even as we shout from the rooftops that they can't be trusted.
I hate the need to scurry around collecting acorns like some stinking squirrel just to stay alive.
Most of all, I hate the fact that the culture around me seems so bent on swinish self-destruction.

But I suppose it's goad enough to get ready.

Notes from the Library...

... so is it just me, or is it not true that 90% of all enforced instruction one receives in life is either forgotten, ignored, or despised?

Because looking back on what I know, all the stuff that has stuck has been what I sought out of my own volition.

The stuff I was forced to learn? Deliberately ignored, even when it might have been of use to me.

Compulsion clearly does the mind no favors.

Holy crap, it's just sunk in...

.... so, having been hired to go to Kobuk, I've been looking over the employee benefits section of their website...

And holy shit, it's awesome.

I will have health insurance.
I will have guaranteed furnished housing.
I have access to a tax-sheltered annuity.

Real jobs RULE.

Awake at 3 AM

Has anything good ever come of being awake (and, important caveat, alone) at three o'clock in the morning?

Never in my experience.

No, this particular time of night lends itself to awful introspection.

While I wouldn't go so far as to call it complete bullshit, the conclusions one reaches about oneself at 3 AM very seldom hold up in the light of day.

Which is funny, because at the time you draw them, they seem like moments of crystal clarity that you've been ignoring or lying to yourself about.

Most important, of course, is the fact that you never achieve anything except a fit of depression.

I'm sure there's some series of studies detailing this exact phenomenon, but the simple fact of the matter is, a 3 AM funk doesn't make any goddamned sense. Why 3 AM? Why not 2 or 4? Why is it that the so-called "Hour of the Wolf" does so much damage?

I have no idea.

And it pisses me off.